Thoughts and ponderings

Really do need to write more often. Life has become a crazy turmoil of thoughts and occurrences. The plant is what it is. Tom has a contract for 18-24 months. I know it is what he wanted. After that...who knows? I have a job, although it is fraught with problems. Another new principal, this brings the total for the school to 5 in 15 years. Two new assistant principals, I'm not even going to start thinking about how many that makes for the last 15 years. Life total of principals is now 12 and assistant principals has to be up to 25-30 now. More teachers coming and going at the school. More change and adjustments to the school. I know Tom has thought about getting a job back at 4&5. I don't feel that great about that choice. It would give him what he thinks he wants. He's also thinking it would allow him to retire in 10 or so years. He has said he would probably always work at something but with this county seemingly dying, what would he do? If we stayed, it would probably mean my having to stay at the school for at least 20-25 more years. I can't picture doing what I'm doing right now for that long. Job prospects in this area, especially in my field, are slim to non-existant. The project I've been quietly working on for the last 3-5 years doesn't seem to be making headway. There seems to constantly be things coming up to stand in the way. The area we were looking at is being hit by the recession and it seems to have finally settled in there. I have faith, but I'm also being realistic. Feeling like if we stay it will also mean staying in this house. It's an ok house. It isn't something Tom and I picked together, though. I would like something that fit our needs a bit better. It would also be a good thing to get away from the neighbors. Issues there continue. It seems they don't want us to leave the house. Just recently we learned they don't think we should walk our dog on the street. The harassment continues. Most recently we had to call the police...again. We learned they had lied about us...again. The sheriff sided with them! It seems they can do what they like and we are forced to tolerate it as best we can. Trying to sort through some odds and ends. Weird things keep popping up. Tired of feeling so tired all of the time. Tired of not being able to get the best sleep, either. Leaving for Phoenix in just over a week. Maybe a change of scenery is what I need to see things clearly.

Ramblings from earlier this week

It's been too long since I posted here. I need to be better about writing. The following is some ramblings from earlier in the week. Posting it here so I don't 'lose' it. Some thoughts I want to ponder:

I thought I saw myself this morning. For a moment the mirror appeared out of focus and a face from the past peered at me. When did I lose that part of myself? I long to become reacquainted with the girl of my past, she has strength, ideas and energy I would love to rediscover. She has fears I would love to discuss and try to allay. I would love for her to know how to avoid a few things. That there are times when life will appear dark and dismal but to keep going as those times don’t stay forever. I would love to be that girl again. I would love to awake in my bedroom and be 16 or 17. To get ready for school and spend the day with old friends on the campus I love.

A thought for today...

Had Joseph been looking at only the circumstances during his 13 years of trial and wrongful imprisonment, he would have despaired of all hope, but his trust was in God.

God's ways are mysterious; they are beyond man's comprehension. As God sovereignly works, man is often unable to understand why he is being led down a certain path.

"Man's goings are of the Lord; how can a man then understand his own way?" (Prov. 20:24).

thought for today

Very possibly we often miss what God wants to show us because we don't take time to pray silently and watch quietly.

For today... (what an awesome reminder)

The Enemy is always looking for opportunities to control our lives. Where he cannot stir us up to revolt against God, he will seek to make us careless so that before we realize what is happening we are dominated by our fallen natures.

A reminder for today....

You Are in the Middle of the Story

Like Joseph, you can't see all the end results when you're in the middle of the story. But take heart that in end you'll see. And have patience for those who are in the middle too and don't know or see what may come of it.
Psalm 34:18, 19 "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous but the Lord delivers him out of them all."
God can't rescue you out of trouble unless you're in trouble. So you will be in trouble at some point and it may be that you're there for a long time. There may be a few years between verse 18 and verse 19.


Right now, I'm in the middle of something. Don't know what the end is going to be. I feel tired, weary and just worn out. Don't feel like I can keep going on.

A reminder of who I am in Christ (thanks Jami!)

I am a child of God.
I am owned by God.
I am loved by God.
I have been set free through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ as He died on the cross for me.
No weapon forged against me will prosper.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made by the very same God that knows every hair on my head, every thought of my heart.
I am accepted by God.
God has created me for the purpose of relationship with Him, and He is pleased.
I am an overcomer through the blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony.
I cannot be shaken down or pulled away from God's Love.
I belong to God.
My body belongs to God.
I am His work in progress.
I am beautiful.
I study to show myself approved to God.
I am a workman that is not ashamed.
I am a new creation in Christ Jesus.
I am not the "old man" I was before I asked Jesus to take over my heart, but I am renewed in Christ.
I am where the Holy Spirit resides.
The Holy Spirit is comfortable with living within me.

I do not have to be perfect, God perfects me in His timing, where and how He wants to.

I am not a mistake, I have been made with God's purpose in mind.

My name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life (if you have confessed Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead).

My mirror reflects who I am in Christ.

For todday

...in the School of Faith, what I am required to do I am enabled to do. Provision has been made. I am not alone and there is nothing to fear, for "God can be trusted not to allow you to suffer any temptation beyond your powers of endurance. He will see to it that every temptation has a way out, so that it will never be impossible for you to bear it."

It's always good to be reminded about my favorite verse. This message is so timely right now. So many things are so confusing. In the end, though, God is in control.

From today's devotions...

God seldom accompanies His commands with reasons or explanations, but He always accompanies them with wonderful promises.

(I personalized this section, changing the 'you' to 'I' and 'me' accordingly)
Do I trust God? When I know God wants me to do something, can I step out for Him and claim His promises, even though He hasn't given me reasons why He wants me to do it?

"Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass" (Ps. 37:5).

A thought for today

Who travels for love finds a thousand miles not longer than one.
-- Japaneses Proverb

Writing again...We'll see where this goes. Part Trois

When we left G_G she had met Knight W face to face and had spent an enjoyable day with him. He went to a local lodging establishment for the night and G_G went to her small castle where she talked to her angel-kitty about her new friend.

On Sunday, G_G went to church and spent time with Heaven King. King father, Queen mother and Knight brother wanted to know about her day. She told them Knight W was a very kind person and she hoped to introduce them soon. Queen mother was still very cautious.

G_G thanked her mother for her concern and left to go home to continue grading papers and wait for Knight W's page. Before she left the church Knight W sent a page and G_G found a phone to check her message and then call the knight. They talked briefly and agreed to meet at a local establishment where G_G could work, the knight could help and the could both be safe in public.

The time together went well. They enjoyed their new friendship. The knight realized he did not yet want to return to his castle. He asked G_G if she would mind if he stayed another day as he did not have to return to work for several more days. G_G cooly replied, "It's a free country." She was not thinking romance in the least!

The knight laughed and told her he would freely decide to stay. G_G stared at the papers and realized the work just seemed to increase. She decided she would take the following day off of work and do paperwork all day. By doing this she would turn her grades in first thing on Tuesday.

She mentioned the plan to the knight. He offered to continue to help. G_G realized that she needed to work at her castle since everything she required was there. With a prayer she accepted his offer to help. G_G drafted directions to her castle and arranged a time for the knight to come. They parted ways with a friendly hug. The knight returned to his lodgings and G_G went to her small castle and quickly cleaned. She also arranged for a substitute for her students, typed up plans and did a few more papers.

The next morning, G_G went to the school early and took care of her plans. She returned home and began to work. The knight arrived exactly on time. He was very polite. They spent the day grading papers and finished all of the work before 3pm. The knight was very hungry and suggested they have lunch. G_G agreed and allowed the knight to drive her in his carriage to a local establishment she felt he might like. They talked more and were amazed at how at ease they both were.

The knight asked about G_G's training and she remarked that she had a class that evening. Knight W asked if he could watch her class. G_G knew this would involve taking him to the family shoppe. She decided it might help if her family knew her friend. She accepted his offer and when they left the establishment they went to the shoppe.

The knight had a beautiful carriage. When they arrived at the shoppe, all of the knights, princes, kings, squires, and even some of the princesses went to meet the owner of this amazing carriage. They all welcomed the knight and enjoyed talking to him. Queen mother was not so easily won. She watched him with a mother's eye. King father was kind but cautious. Knight brother just wanted G_G to be happy.

The knight was impressed by G_G's training. It was very different than his tests of strength. He respected the work G_G, King father and Knight brother had done to attain their rank. Queen mother asked questions while they watched.

After the classes, G_G and the knight went to dinner. The knight let G_G eat in his carriage, something he did not allow others to do (she did not know this at the time). She thanked him for helping her and told him it was nice to have a friend. The knight asked if he could come to visit her again. He enjoyed her company. Again G_G replied, "It is a free country. Now you also know where lodgings are as well."

The knight drove G_G to her home and gave her a friendly hug. He went to his lodgings and G_G closed her small castle for the night. She thanked Heaven King for her friend and for the blessings in her life. Knight W went to his lodgings, also thankful for a friend and thinking about how remarkable G_G truly was. He knew he wanted to spend more time with her and learn more about her.

The next day G_G returned to Woodham and taught her students. Knight W pointed his carriage toward home. That afternoon G_G found a message on her magic apple when she returned home. The knight had gotten home safely and thanked her again for a wonderful time.

Writing again...We'll see where this goes. Part Deux

~The Story of G_G and her WH~ (part 2)

Backing up just a tad. It may help, dear reader, to learn a little more about little G_G. She dedicated her life to her Heaven King as but a wee lass and had grown up seeking His will for her life. Her King father and Queen mother were also believers. G_G had grown up in church and had loved to sing, perform and learn all she could about Heaven King.

G_G also loved school. Most of the time she had wonderful teachers who encouraged G_G to use her talents. G_G did struggle sometimes and later learned she suffered from dyslexia. In high school she went to a wonderful private school that was committed to Heaven King. During this time G_G became very ill. She was allowed to contract an illness that she would carry for all her life. It was a scary time for G_G and her family.

The medical care she received was good but sometime filled with doubts. The doctor's kept looking for an answer when Queen mother would not back down. Eventually she was diagnosed with Epstein-Barr Virus. It changed her. Some people could not understand the change in G_G and friends pulled away. Some thought they could become ill from G_G. It was a difficult time; however, the friends that stood by her side and became her friends were blessings, indeed.

As mentioned yesterday, leaving the wonderful wonderland of El Cajon was devastating for G_G. It was only when she began to meet with her kindly counselor she began to realize how hard this move had been and how this opened the door for the dark fog that plagued her since 1987. (all of this and stories of El Cajon will have to wait for another day and another story time, though).

After the villain left G_G struggled with feeling that no knight, prince, squire, king or even surf would even be interested in her. She had allowed herself to trust the villain and that trust had been shattered. Trusting the villain had been no easy task, either! Before meeting the villain, G_G had spent 3 years held captive by an evil ogre.

The ogre had attended the same university as G_G. It was a university dedicated to Heaven King; however, it wasn't the warm, nurturing, loving environment her school in the wonderland of El Cajon had been. This school believed serving Heaven King was best done through rules and those who did not follow the rules were treated harshly.

Leaving the wonderland was hard enough. Feeling captive in this swamp was awful. Dark clouds followed G_G during every day of this time. She was aware of them but could not fight them. She felt alone, trapped in a tower. She prayed daily for rescue. One day she met an ogre. He did not seem to be an ogre, though. He appeared to be a young Squire studying Heaven King. He attended G_G's Queen Grandmother's church and served the youth there.

The ogre courted G_G. She was not interested for some time; however, she eventually warmed to him. At the end of her first year at university, the Squire escorted G_G to her parent's home and met the King father, Queen mother and young Knight brother. The ogre asked permission to court G_G and she was flattered by his manners. They began a courtship that 10 months later brought a proposal.

The ogre's parents were a strange pair. Ogre father was opinionated and thought women needed to be in their place. Ogre mother believed no one was as good as her child. They wanted everything for their ogre son so they cast a spell on him to draw in a wife that would would take care of him. Ogre mother wanted ogre son to have a wife with brown hair and blue eyes, poor G_G had both.

Less than three months before the nuptules Ogre mother began to show her true nature. She did not want to give up her son. She began to fight with G_G leaving G_G so confused. She did not know these were ogres and the spell was beginning to weaken. The ogre family worked harder to keep ogre mother from showing her true nature and G_G from learning the truth.

G_G married the ogre. This started a period of total darkness for her. Almost at once the Ogre began to show his true nature. G_G was even more confused. What had happened? She believed Heaven King had put her with a Squire and now he was an ogre! His family spewed hate on her. The ogre began to unleash his temper on G_G. The abuse was vast and awful. G_G was held captive in a tall castle with a deep moat. She was only allowed to leave to go to the swamp university or church. She went almost nowhere without the Ogre. People turned a blind eye to G_G's hints of what was happening.

Finally, G_G got away from the Ogre. (this is an exciting tale that will have to wait for another day! THIS story is about G_G and her WH) Knowing how broken G_G had felt after being ravaged by the Ogre, being enchanted to trust the villain and then having them both discard her like old fish does help know how much Heaven King did to heal her wounded heart and spirit.

Understandably, G_G was not interested in being courted by anyone. She prayed and told Heaven King that she was content being single and if His plans were otherwise He would have to show her. She asked Heaven King to drop the suitor in her lap. She would not be looking and would, instead, dedicate her time to other tasks.

G_G did not need the stress of courting or suitors during this time of healing. If any suitor had been casting an eye her way, G_G was not aware. G_G was very afraid of people rejecting her as 'damaged' or foolish. Many fears materialized. She had never thought she was attractive and the damage of the ogre and the villain reinforced her every fear. The supportive words of friends like Prince D did help; however, when alone in her small castle with her angel-kitty and a mirror, G_G would cry bitter tears for all she had lost (including the painful truth that the ogre had rendered her unable to have children).

So...back to the story at hand. G_G received the message Knight W sent to the wee ones in the kingdom in South Florida. It was a kind note and G_G noticed the knight lived in a small kingdom she had taken her private carriage through while in the swamp university. It also did not pass her notice that this place was a small hour from the castle belonging to the ogre family, whom she had thankfully not heard from since the ogre had left.

As was her habit, G_G wrote Knight W a friendly note. She introduced herself and wished the knight a good day. She went on with her grading and research, not thinking she would hear from him again. Before bed she checked her messages once more and was surprised to find a note from the knight. Thus began the next weeks. They began a friendship through letters, telling about their day and sharing anecdotes of their life. G_G did not, though, share about the ogre or the villain that had just released her. Knight W did not share about the shrew. It was too soon to confide such things.

One day, though, G_G felt very convicted about not being honest. The knight seemed like such a kind fellow and she wanted to be honest that she was not seeking a romantic involvement. She knew the knight was also dedicated to Heaven King. She began a careful note telling him of her past and her commitment to Heaven King. She told him she was not seeking a suitor and if he was she would understand if he did not wish to continue their friendship. With a prayer she sent the letter and tried to busy herself with various tasks. She did not want to lose a friend; however, she did not want to be untruthful, either!

What seemed like ages later she received a letter from Knight W. He revealed his story about the shrew and that he, too, was just happy to find a friend. He then offered his phone number if G_G ever needed to talk. Ever cautious, G_G gave the knight her pager number.

They did talk on the phone and they both enjoyed these times. Their friendship was genuine. They both felt free to be themselves. After several more weeks, the knight asked G_G to exchange pictures. He wanted to put a name, face and voice together. G_G was quite frightened. What if the knight rejected her!? She was not ready to lose a friend!!!!! After praying, she agreed to send the knight pictures, if he would do the same. Knight W agreed and shared his address. Still being cautious, G_G gave the knight the address at the school.

They each gathered photos, mailed them and waited. G_G was busy with grades and putting together reports for her students. Knight W was busy with his responsibilities. Then G_G received an envelope at the school. She did not know the handwriting and it took her a moment to recognize the knights name. Opening the envelope, G_G was greeted with a kindly note and photos of her friend. He did not look like G_G imagined; however, he did look like someone G_G would love to be close friends with.

G_G spent the day planning her weekend. She looked forward to training that evening, going to eat with her training friends and getting ready to grade papers over the weekend. When she got home G_G found a message from the Knight. He asked permission to come meet G_G. Her pictures had not arrived; yet, he knew he wanted to take her to lunch and spend some time talking.

Not sure why, G_G said yes. She spend the evening moving from task to task. Why had she said yes? She was only having lunch with a friend; but, it was a friend she had only known through the magic apple. They made plans and G_G had him plan to come to her place of training, that would be safe.

The next day G_G dressed and went to training. It seemed odd, though. She knew the knight was coming. Her Queen mother was less than pleased. She knew how difficult things had been for G_G. She was afraid this knight may be a troll, villain, ogre or other miscreant. G_G's King father was wise and reminded G_G to stay in public places and they were near if she needed them. Knight brother just asked G_G to be safe and remember her training. They hugged and were each reminded they were blessed to have the other.

Finally, the knight contacted G_G. He had gotten lost in the unfamiliar kingdom. G_G directed him to a local spot and then took her private carriage to meet him. While G_G knew what the knight looked like, her photos had not reached him before he left. She met him in a public place and they shook hands. They carefully began to talk and the knight asked if they could eat. G_G suggested several places and then the knight followed her to the place he chose.

At lunch, they were served by the wife of one of G_G's training partners. The knight and G_G enjoyed lunch and each relaxed around the other. After lunch, G_G needed to grade papers. Explaining the need to the knight, he offered to aid her in his task. G_G was torn, the help would be welcome; however, where could they go and still be in public? After a beat she suggested he follow her to a park where they graded papers (and saw many people G_G knew). As the day grew dark, the knight invited G_G to see a movie as a reward for the day's work. He followed her to a local establishment. Sitting down, G_G was tapped on the shoulder by a fellow teacher. All day Heaven King had sent people to help G_G feel safe. She smiled and said a silent thanks.

After the movie, it was growing late. The knight required lodging. G_G directed him to a local place and he shook her hand and thanked her for the day. G_G invited him to church the following day; however, the knight felt he did not have the proper clothing with him. He had intended to leave the next morning. G_G suggested he watch the service on television and he agreed. The knight asked to see G_G again the next day. G_G suggested he use her pager number after church and sunday school. The knight agreed and each went their own way to contemplate their thoughts of the days events.

G_G was thankful for a friend and for the way Heaven King protected her. Knight W was thankful for a safe trip and an enjoyable day. Neither knew this day would change their lives forever.

Writing again...We'll see where this goes.

About a year ago I was asked how Tom and I met. Instead of telling the 'normal' "how we met" I made it a bit of a fairie story. I thought I would move it here so I could work on it some and polish it some.

~The Story of G_G and her WH~
In 1996 a young teacher, G_G, thought things were finally looking up for her. She was married to a man she thought was a prince and, although they had been going through some difficult times over the previous year, things were starting to improve. G_G had just gotten hired at a amazing school (Woodham High School) as an English and Drama teacher and her prince was working for a doctor as an opthamology assistant.

Since 1987 G_G had struggled with a dark cloud that seemed to fall upon her once she left her wonderful wonderland of El Cajon, California. She had been happy in that land and was saddened that she was not able to get back there. Sometimes it felt like her days there had simply been a beautiful dream.

The prince was from the wonderland of California, too. He was from a different kingdom, though (Simi Valley). They often talked of returning to that wonderland and setting up their own castle.

One day, in the summer of 1996 G_G's dream exploded and the darkness fell like a blanket upon her again. While at work at her parent's shoppe and training studio she had tried to contact the prince to see if he wanted to do something after work; however, she was not able to reach him. Concerned, she left work early and rushed home.

Opening the door, she was greated by an eerie calm. Something was very wrong. Things were missing and a little askew. On a table was a note with the prince's wedding ring. The note said the prince was leaving, that he didn't love G_G and several other awful things. G_G was stunned. Her world crumbled. She had trusted the prince and now she was learning he was truly a vilian. He had taken mostly his things but the small castle felt cold and empty.

G_G fled to the safety of her parents castle. The king and queen were kindly people who allowed G_G to curl up in the safety of their four walls. They fed her simple meals for the next several days and prodded her to do things to protect herself and her small, cold castle. G_G's knightly brother longed to joust with the villian.

The villian tried to take her money and began to spread lies. G_G learned the villian had been wooing several maidens in the kingdom. He lied to them like he lied to G_G. He compromised the honor of one in particular and, in true villian fashion, fled partly because the maiden was going to tell G_G the truth.

G_G was sent to the king's twin sister's kingdom for a week of recouperation. The Auntie Queen had always been a favorite of G_G's and that kingdom had been a wonderful oasis of calm in G_G's life. Other kingdoms changed; however, Auntie Queen reamined steadfast. The week was a balm to G_G's soul and G_G began to believe she would actually be happy again one day.

Returning to her cold little castle, G_G began to meet with a kindly counselor. This kindly fellow prayed with her and began to help her recover. He helped her to push away the darkness. He let her cry and told her she wasn't to blame for so much of the past. Light began to peek though. The kindly counselor also advised G_G to go see her dear physician and get medication to help her carry her load.

G_G began to develop a new life. She went to the amazing land of Woodham High School each day and toiled to help students (a hard job since she was barely able to care for herself at times). She worked teaching self defence and karate to knights, squires, maidens, and others. She spent time with her King father, Queen mother and Knight brother and frequently feasted at their castle. She tried to warm her little castle, that she shared with a tiny angel-kitty. She went to church regularly and spent time with her Heavenly King Father. She DID NOT encourage any knight, prince or king to court her.

The villian had disappeared. He did not release her from her vows, though. G_G felt very firmly that she was still bound to the villian, even if he did not feel the same about her. Until G_G heard she had been released, she would be faithful. During this time, G_G rededicated herself to her Heavenly King and vowed she would not seek the attention of any prince, king or knight. If the villian released her, she would remain single as long her Heaven King chose. She promised to work with students or whatever she was directed to do.

Thanksgiving was a special time that year. The King father invited his King brother and Queen sister-in-law to spend time with the family. G_G loved them dearly. Uncle King was a minister and they prayed during this time. Aunt Queen prayed with her and encouraged her, too. G_G shared her desire for "closure" during the holidays. She wished the villian to release her but remained convinced she was not to seek the release.

G_G had some wonderful friends. Several of them she had known since her days in the wonderland of El Cajon. One of them, Prince D, had been a rock of stability. Prince D was worried about G_G getting though the first holidays. He insisted they go, as friends, to the magical land of Disney World. They spend 4 days in that magic kingdom after Christmas. Prince D respected G_G's vow to the villian and protected her honor. She felt safe to relax, even though this magic world was where the villian had taken her after they married.

Prince D was a lord of computers. G_G longed to have one of these amazing creations. She and Prince D talked for many hours of how G_G could use such an item. The villian had foolishly squandered most of G_G's fortune. She had been reduced to her small castle (that was growing warmer) and little else.

Prince D helped G_G find a way to acquire a magical apple. After taking G_G's private carriage to the magic kingdom, they found a shoppe on the journey home that had the magic apple G_G had prayed for. Prince D helped her purchase her first computer on New Year's Eve 1996. He aided her in putting together her system in time for a new year, she watched the new year arrive on her magic apple.

Alas, Prince D had to return to University. G_G missed him very much. Many years prior G_G had thought Prince D was her "true love' and Prince D thought the same of G_G; alas, Heavenly King determined this was not to pass. Prince D and G_G were saddened by this; however, were glad they were able to remain 'together forever' as the closest of confidents. Prince D was as special to G_G as any family member. Prince D and G_G shared a love that was strong, true and pure.

Prince D told G_G she would love again. The villian would grow weary of his hold on her. He would release her. Prince D even offered to fight the villian, if needed. G_G hugged her dear Prince D and thanked him. Prince D then climbed aboard a flying carriage and was winged away. G_G felt alone, again. (Two months later, she took a flying carriage to see Prince D. She was inspecting his temporary kingdom as a possible place for her to attend University. They enjoyed their time together although the door to this kingdom was closed. They talked again of G_G's life once she was released from the villian. Prince D reminded G_G she had much to offer and would always be a special person in his life.)

G_G threw herself back into her work, family, training, church and now added computers. She loved the world that was being opened to her. She began to make friends in foreign lands. Even in this, she needed the help of her physician.

The darkness was still flirting on the edges; however, G_G was crawling out from under its heavy load. One day (shortly after she returned from visiting Prince D at university) she received, at her school, a decree from the courts of the land. The villian was finally releasing her. She could not believe it. Even now, though, the villian was doing his dearest to best her. He forced her to appear before the courts of the land, he had fled and could not be bothered to return. The stress opened G_G to illness and in one day she appeared before the courts (with her Queen mother at her side) and then reported to her physician who diagnosed her with walking pnumonia.

G_G, though, was released, at last. She was happy to have the closure as she prayed for. Heavenly King was healing and comforting her. She was not lonely. She began to plan for the future.

During this time G_G enjoyed her magical apple. One day she found a message on a message board. It was from another kingdom in South Florida. The wee students were learning about magical apples and the wonderous lands they could reach. Being a teacher, G_G posted a note to these wee ones about the Kingdom of Pensacola. She wished them the best as they began their journey of education. G_G went on and didn't think of this post again.

In another kingdom, Crystal River, a Knight named W was recovering, too. He had been married to a shrewish woman who wanted someone to take care of her. Knight W worked very hard at his job and tended to his "herd" of "mustangs" in his spare time. Knight W also enjoyed tests of strength. His shrewish wife, after 7 years, decided she did not care for Knight W anymore and she went home to her parents. Her parents felt sorry for Knight W; however, still had their lawyers take much of Knight W's kingdom to give to their shrewish child. They apologized by saying "blood is thicker than water".

Knight W began to recover. He spent time with friends. He tended his herd. He exercised. He claimed no interest in owning an magic apple as the ones he used at work he found bothersome. One day he was to show one of his herd with a friend. Rain forced them to alter their plans. His friend, Squire Russel, suggested they go to a shoppe that allowed people to use their magic apples for a small fee. They spent several hours in this shoppe. Knight W felt he may need a magic apple, after all.

Knight W was able to purchase a magic apple through his job. He brought it to his humble cottage and began to explore. One day he found a message board from the kingdom of South Florida. A class of wee ones were learning of the wonderous lands their magic apples could reach. Knight W was seized with the urge to write these wee ones. He thought they might like to hear about the land in which he lived.

In his inexperience Knight W clicked on a message and thought he responded to the thread, instead he responded to the message he selected. The message belonged to G_G.

...curious to know more???

From facebook...

...you've been talking to God too much, and not listening enough.

Prayer is when you talk to God. Meditation is when you become quiet and listen to God. You've learned how to talk and ask well. Time to learn how to listen and hear, because God has been answering you.

Something to think about...

If God can fling out a galaxy so that it stays where He wants it and yet observes one exhausted person and strengthens him, can we believe that we are adrift in a fathomless void? Hear the promise of Jesus: "No, I will not abandon you or leave you as orphans in the storm--I will come to you" (Jn 14:18 LB).

From today's devotions

A Devious Repentance

Recently I committed a sin of what seemed to me unpardonable thoughtlessness. For days I wanted to kick myself around the block. What is the matter with me? I thought. How could I have acted so? "Fret not thyself because of evildoers" came to mind. In this case the evildoer was myself, and I was fretting. My fretting, I discovered, was a subtle kind of pride. "I'm really not that sort of person," I was saying. I did not want to be thought of as that sort of person. I was very sorry for what I had done, not primarily because I had failed someone I loved, but because my reputation would be smudged. When my reputation becomes my chief concern, my repentance has a hollow ring. No wonder Satan is called the deceiver. He has a thousand tricks, and we fall for them.
Lord, I confess my sin of thoughtlessness and my sin of pride. I pray for a more loving and a purer heart, for Jesus' sake.

Thought that made me go, "hmmmmmmm"

"The real test of being in the presence of God is that you either forget about yourself altogether or see yourself as a small, dirty object. It is better to forget about yourself altogether".
~C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

I am learning to wait...

Waiting for God's Time
11 Samuel 2:1-11
Second Samuel 2 opens with these words: "And it came to pass after this, that David inquired of the LORD, saying, Shall I go up into any of the cities of Judah? And the LORD said unto him, Go up. And David said, Whither shall I go up? And he said, Unto Hebron" (v. 1).
David found, as we will too, that we never lose anything by believing God and then patiently waiting on Him. But we will surely suffer if we take things into our own hands and rush blindly ahead.
The word "Hebron" means "alliance" or "communion" in contrast to Ziklag, which refers to self-will. Being allied with God and being in communion with Him, David was in a place to be led in the will of God.
David's reign began by reigning first over Judah. It was not necessary for David to take the throne; God saw that he received it. God moved him back to Hebron, and his own tribe anointed him king.
Seven and a half years went by, however, before the whole kingdom was put under his hand. David still had to wait, but it was God's time he was waiting for, not people's.
"There is a time there for every purpose and for every work" (Eccles. 3:17).
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Could the 7.5 years be a significant time frame for me as well?

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Do You Want an Answer?
This is the question we need to ask ourselves when we are seeking "solutions" to our problems. Often we want only an audience. We want the chance to air grievances, to present our excuses, to make an explanation for our behavior, rather than a cure. More often than not the clearest and most direct answer can be found in the Word, but it must be sought honestly.
"The way of the Lord gives refuge to the honest man, but dismays those who do evil" (Prv. 10:29 NEB).
We can approach God's word with a will to obey whatever it says to us about our present situation, or we can avoid it and say to anyone who would try to point us to it, "Don't throw the Book at me." The latter is an evasion, which supports our suspicion that our problems are, in fact, insoluble. The honest (i.e., humble) heart will indeed find the Lord's way to be a refuge.
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I do want answers; however, I am content to to wait on the Lord and on His perfect timing.
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Holy Spirit, enable your kindness to take root and flourish in me. Make me more like Jesus, who, though he was rich, was willing to become poor for my sake. In his name, Amen.

for today..

How Long Will This Last?


A couple years ago I shared my experience of enduring a spiritual storm, a crisis of faith. Since then I've had the privilege of corresponding with numerous precious saints who are enduring similar storms.
A common experience is that after the initial blast of the storm, it often takes a long time to regain a sense of spiritual equilibrium. A friend wrote me recently essentially asking me how long it will take to "get past this" to feeling normal again. I thought I would share my response to him in case others of you are finding yourselves asking, "How Long, O Lord" (Ps. 90:13)

Thank you for the update. Yes, I remember well. I would say it took me a good year from the time I experienced an initial breakthrough until I really felt my spiritual equilibrium was more "normal." Changing metaphors, if the initial crisis was a massive earthquake, I felt aftershocks for a long time. And some were strong.
My experience is that God brings deliverance from these things gradually. Because his purpose is to strengthen faith and character. A different analogy: it is similar to endurance and strength training. It's the adversity of the struggle that builds spiritual understanding, muscle, and endurance. And it generally takes longer and is more difficult and painful than we imagine at first.
One last analogy. Remember Frodo in The Lord of the Rings? He is stabbed with the Mordor blade of the wraith king on Weathertop. It almost kills him. But thanks to the divine healing gift of Elrond the elf lord, the evil poison is removed. However, for the rest of his life, Frodo still sometimes feels the icy pain in the scar.
It's like that with such wounding as you and I have experienced. I still feel the icy pain occasionally in the scar. But it has become a reminder of grace and a reminder to set my hope on God and his promises. It is a reminder that I walk by faith and not sight.
I will pray for you. The Lord will not forsake you. It is he who will get you past this. Keep following Jesus who endured Gethsemane, the trial, the scourging, the cross, and death for you.
He showed you that sometimes the path of faith takes you through indescribably deep darkness. He is not asking you to endure what he has not already endured—and infinitely worse. And he showed that you can trust the Father, whose will sometimes is that you drink a cup you really wish you didn't have to drink.
But it's only because there is joy unspeakable and full of glory for those who do.

"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it" (1 Cor. 10:13).
Grace be with all of you who are struggling now.

Proverbs 27:1???

I got a message that on this day, God wants me to know...
... that I cannot wait anymore.

The moment has finally come. I have no choice. I have to take that step now. Now. Not tomorrow, not in an hour, - Now! If anyone else is reading this, they would be confused. But not me. I know exactly what we mean. Do it. Now.