Today I am BLAH!!!!!! I've been sick for a week (bronchitis) and had to take a day and a half off of work (which I never do). I went back to work today...a 15.5 hour day...great. My voice is still gone and I had to use it way too much. I feel discouraged and totally used up;. My boss mentioned this evening that I "seem to get sick a lot."...great! I'm sure he'll use this against me now. Stuff just doesn't feel right right now. So much feels...well, off. Tom seems obsessed with the finances; however, I don't know what I am supposed to do. Yes, school isn't cheap; however, doing this will help in the long run. I didn't get the scholarship; however, I might get it next year. I feel guilty about spending a dollar sometimes because of school. There are times he seems focused on the debt; however, there always seems to be enough for other stuff. I'm not a wife that claims my pay is "mine" to do with as I please. I contribute the whole to our account. I work as hard as I can for the pay I receive and there are days it just doesn't seem enough.
I'm off right now and it's making the world askew. It feels like people are shoving their problems in my direction and I'm supposed to shoulder it all. Oh...and someone is stealing stuff from Drama...again.
It feels like a spiritual attack from every side. I don't know what the lesson is I should be learning. I don't know if I am being directed to move or what that direction would even be. I'm tying to trust...I'm trying to lean...I'm trying to listen...But am I?????
So, today I am BLAH!!! Today I am BLECH!!!!! Tomorrow I will put a smile on my face and wash cars so my students can have their trip to Tampa. Tomorrow will be a new day...Tomorrow has no mistakes in it, yet.
Lord??? Help!!!!!!!!
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