Being alone on Christmas...is it good or bad???

Christmas is the season to be jolly, but some people want to spend it alone. Christine Aziz investigates

When you open your presents on Christmas morning with friends and family, spare a thought for those who will be spending the day alone. The chances are, as you grimace at yet another of Uncle Tom's dreadful jokes, you'll be wishing you could join them.

A solitary Christmas certainly has its perks. Since she has been living away from home, graphic artist, Marie Edmunds, 28, has spent most of her Christmases alone in her spacious Brighton flat. 'I tell my boyfriend to get lost, then I batten down the hatches and withdraw from the world,' she says with relish.

Marie is not a loner by nature. Outgoing and fun, she's always up for a party, but there is something about Christmas that makes her withdraw. But it's not easy.

'My family and friends just can't understand it. As far as they are concerned Christmas is about being with people you love, but I find it all too much,' she says. 'People try too hard on the day to enjoy themselves and it all gets tense. In my family we have our Nan down, who we hardly see in the year. All she does is pick fault in everyone and my parents get very tense. I just hate all the forced jollity that comes with Christmas. I prefer to avoid it and do my own thing.'


Her boyfriend, John, is now used to Marie's Christmas boycott and has stopped inviting her to share the day with his large and boisterous family. He's finally got the message but the problem is, no one else has. The moment anyone knows you're going to spend Christmas alone they start inviting you to spend it with them, even if they hardly know you. They can't believe you actually want to be alone,' she says.

Marie now lies about her Christmas. 'I tell everyone I am spending it with a friend or my family, depending on whom I am talking to,' she says. 'My family say I am selfish and I once had someone who knew I was lying, threaten to come over and kidnap me and take me to his house for Christmas where his family, all strangers to me, would be present. Now, personally, I can't think of anything more depressing than spending the day with a crowd of strangers. But the thought that he was doing something in the cause of not allowing anyone to be alone at Christmas made him happy. I was tempted to give in - but lied instead and faked a serious case of flu.'

So, what does Marie do on Christmas Day? 'I get up in the morning as late as I want. I open my presents one at a time when I want, not in a big rush. I have dinner either at home or in a restaurant and eat what I want, when I want to. I walk along the beach and watch all the families - most of whom you can tell are not having a good time. I go down to my neighbour downstairs, a brilliant old lady of 90, who also likes to be alone on Christmas Day. I stay about an hour, wish her well, and then leave. I spend the rest of the day either curled up with a good book or watching a video.'


If it sounds like heaven to you then go for it. But before you do:


Ask yourself why you want to be alone on a day that is traditionally a social occasion associated with family gatherings. Are there hidden agendas you haven't dealt with during the year? Are you burnt out? Are you expected to do things on Christmas Day that you don't like doing, but do them anyway to please everyone? Or do you genuinely want to enjoy some time in your own company.

Be prepared for emotional blackmail when you tell loved ones your plans. Reassure them that you are not rejecting them, but it is about your needs at this time. Appease them by fixing to spend a day with them after Christmas.

Unless you really have to, try not to lie about your whereabouts. Explain why you want to be alone and stick to it.

Put a note on your door saying you have gone for a walk, in case someone is sent to pick you up, despite your wishes. (Marie says, don't open the door!)

Make sure you have enough food in for two days, and buy lots of treats.

If during the day, you start to feel miserable and wish you weren't alone, pick up the phone and dial a friend. You have nothing to prove.