Thursday, September 28, 2006
If you watch this...prepare to smile :-)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
An earnest prayer for today...
"O God, the protector of all who trust in you, without whom nothing is strong, nothing is holy: Increase and multiply upon us your mercy, that, with you as our ruler and guide, we may so pass through things temporal, that we lose not the things eternal; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen."
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Tired and worn out...
I am tired, I have a headache and it is mid quarter in Citrus County. We are half way thought this quarter...1/8 of the way though this school year. I am finding it difficult to not be discouraged by things this year. It seems the load of expectations keeps getting greater and greater. I don't understand work for the sake of work. It seems some of the admin. want us to do things because it will make them look good not because it will help us as teachers or help the sudents or any combination of the two. The FCAT score has become the goal...the prize. One administrator in particular seems to be trying to make sure others take the blame for things they set into motion. The 9th grade academy seems to be a dismal failure at my school, other places make it work. Ours caters to the students and isn't helping them adjust to high school. Next year, as 10th graders, they will expect the same treatment...and so on and so on. Are we helping them or hurting them.
I want to be where God wants me to be. I know He never promised us an easy life and that challenges are a natural part of the walk BUT I feel so overwhelmed right now. This English class is a daily struggle. I try to find the joy and there are kids in the class I think I could like but 37 kids is just too many. So many are Failing the class because they just aren't doing the work!
I feel so overwhelmed by the whole thing. Why??? Why this? Why now??
I want to be where God wants me to be. I know He never promised us an easy life and that challenges are a natural part of the walk BUT I feel so overwhelmed right now. This English class is a daily struggle. I try to find the joy and there are kids in the class I think I could like but 37 kids is just too many. So many are Failing the class because they just aren't doing the work!
I feel so overwhelmed by the whole thing. Why??? Why this? Why now??
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
A little life perspective
Every year, Beloit College releases its Mindset List to give a snapshot of the world view of the incoming freshmen class. The list for the Class of 2010:
1. The Soviet Union has never existed and therefore is about as scary as the student union.
2. They have known only two presidents.
3. For most of their lives, major U.S. airlines have been bankrupt.
4. Manuel Noriega has always been in jail in the U.S.
5. They have grown up getting lost in giant retail stores known as "big boxes."
6. There has always been one Germany.
7. They have never heard anyone actually "ring it up" on a cash register.
8. They are wireless, yet always connected.
9. A stained blue dress is as famous to their generation as a third-rate burglary was to their parents'.
10. Thanks to pervasive head phones in the back seat, parents have always been able to speak freely in the front.
11. A coffee has always taken longer to make than a milkshake.
12. Smoking has never been permitted on U.S. airlines.
13. Faux fur has always been a necessary element of style.
14. The Moral Majority has never needed an organization.
15. They have never had to distinguish between the St. Louis Cardinals baseball and football teams.
16. DNA fingerprinting has always been admissible evidence in court.
17. They grew up pushing their own miniature shopping carts in the supermarket.
18. They grew up with and have outgrown faxing as a means of communication.
19. "Google" has always been a verb.
20. Text messaging is their e-mail.
21. Milli Vanilli has never had anything to say.
22. Mr. Rogers, not Walter Cronkite, has always been the most trusted man in America.
23. Bar codes have always been on everything, from library cards and snail mail to retail items.
24. Madden has always been a game, not a Super Bowl-winning coach.
25. Phantom of the Opera has always been on Broadway.
26. "Boogers" candy has always been a favorite for grossing out parents.
27. There has never been a "sky hook" in the NBA.
28. Carbon copies are oddities found in their grandparents' attics.
29. Computerized player pianos have always been tinkling in the lobby.
30. Non-denominational mega-churches have always been the fastest growing religious organizations in the U.S.
31. They grew up in minivans.
32. Reality shows have always been on television.
33. They have no idea why we needed to ask "... Can we all get along?"
34. They have always known that "In the criminal justice system the people have been represented by two separate yet equally important groups."
35. Young women's fashions have never been concerned with where the waist is.
36. They have rarely mailed anything using a stamp.
37. Brides have always worn white for a first, second, or third wedding.
38. Being techno-savvy has always been inversely proportional to age.
39. "So" as in "Sooooo New York," has always been a drawn-out adjective modifying a proper noun, which in turn modifies something else.
40. Affluent troubled teens in Southern California have always been the subjects of television series.
41. They have always been able to watch wars and revolutions live on television.
42. Ken Burns has always been producing very long documentaries on PBS.
43. They are not aware that "flock of seagulls hair" has nothing to do with birds flying into it.
44. Retin-A has always made America look less wrinkled.
45. Green tea has always been marketed for health purposes.
46. Public school officials have always had the right to censor school newspapers.
47. Small, white holiday lights have always been in style.
48. Most of them have never had the chance to eat bad airline food.
49. They have always been searching for "Waldo."
50. The really rich have regularly expressed exuberance with outlandish birthday parties.
51. Michael Moore has always been showing up uninvited.
52. They never played the game of state license plates in the car.
53. They have always preferred going out in groups as opposed to dating.
54. There have always been live organ donors.
55. They have always had access to their own credit cards.
56. They have never put their money in a "Savings & Loan."
57. Sara Lee has always made underwear.
58. Bad behavior has always been getting captured on amateur videos.
59. Disneyland has always been in Europe and Asia.
60. They never saw Bernard Shaw on CNN.
61. Beach volleyball has always been a recognized sport.
62. Acura, Lexus and Infiniti have always been luxury cars of choice.
63. Television stations have never concluded the broadcast day with the national anthem.
64. LoJack transmitters have always been finding lost cars.
65. Diane Sawyer has always been live in Prime Time.
66. Dolphin-free canned tuna has always been on sale.
67. Disposable contact lenses have always been available.
68. "Outing" has always been a threat.
69. "Oh, The Places You'll Go" by Dr. Seuss has always been the perfect graduation gift.
70. They have always "dissed" what they don't like.
71. The U.S. has always been studying global warming to confirm its existence.
72. Richard M. Daley has always been the Mayor of Chicago.
73. They grew up with virtual pets to feed, water, and play games with, lest they die.
74. Ringo Starr has always been clean and sober.
75. Professional athletes have always competed in the Olympics.
1. The Soviet Union has never existed and therefore is about as scary as the student union.
2. They have known only two presidents.
3. For most of their lives, major U.S. airlines have been bankrupt.
4. Manuel Noriega has always been in jail in the U.S.
5. They have grown up getting lost in giant retail stores known as "big boxes."
6. There has always been one Germany.
7. They have never heard anyone actually "ring it up" on a cash register.
8. They are wireless, yet always connected.
9. A stained blue dress is as famous to their generation as a third-rate burglary was to their parents'.
10. Thanks to pervasive head phones in the back seat, parents have always been able to speak freely in the front.
11. A coffee has always taken longer to make than a milkshake.
12. Smoking has never been permitted on U.S. airlines.
13. Faux fur has always been a necessary element of style.
14. The Moral Majority has never needed an organization.
15. They have never had to distinguish between the St. Louis Cardinals baseball and football teams.
16. DNA fingerprinting has always been admissible evidence in court.
17. They grew up pushing their own miniature shopping carts in the supermarket.
18. They grew up with and have outgrown faxing as a means of communication.
19. "Google" has always been a verb.
20. Text messaging is their e-mail.
21. Milli Vanilli has never had anything to say.
22. Mr. Rogers, not Walter Cronkite, has always been the most trusted man in America.
23. Bar codes have always been on everything, from library cards and snail mail to retail items.
24. Madden has always been a game, not a Super Bowl-winning coach.
25. Phantom of the Opera has always been on Broadway.
26. "Boogers" candy has always been a favorite for grossing out parents.
27. There has never been a "sky hook" in the NBA.
28. Carbon copies are oddities found in their grandparents' attics.
29. Computerized player pianos have always been tinkling in the lobby.
30. Non-denominational mega-churches have always been the fastest growing religious organizations in the U.S.
31. They grew up in minivans.
32. Reality shows have always been on television.
33. They have no idea why we needed to ask "... Can we all get along?"
34. They have always known that "In the criminal justice system the people have been represented by two separate yet equally important groups."
35. Young women's fashions have never been concerned with where the waist is.
36. They have rarely mailed anything using a stamp.
37. Brides have always worn white for a first, second, or third wedding.
38. Being techno-savvy has always been inversely proportional to age.
39. "So" as in "Sooooo New York," has always been a drawn-out adjective modifying a proper noun, which in turn modifies something else.
40. Affluent troubled teens in Southern California have always been the subjects of television series.
41. They have always been able to watch wars and revolutions live on television.
42. Ken Burns has always been producing very long documentaries on PBS.
43. They are not aware that "flock of seagulls hair" has nothing to do with birds flying into it.
44. Retin-A has always made America look less wrinkled.
45. Green tea has always been marketed for health purposes.
46. Public school officials have always had the right to censor school newspapers.
47. Small, white holiday lights have always been in style.
48. Most of them have never had the chance to eat bad airline food.
49. They have always been searching for "Waldo."
50. The really rich have regularly expressed exuberance with outlandish birthday parties.
51. Michael Moore has always been showing up uninvited.
52. They never played the game of state license plates in the car.
53. They have always preferred going out in groups as opposed to dating.
54. There have always been live organ donors.
55. They have always had access to their own credit cards.
56. They have never put their money in a "Savings & Loan."
57. Sara Lee has always made underwear.
58. Bad behavior has always been getting captured on amateur videos.
59. Disneyland has always been in Europe and Asia.
60. They never saw Bernard Shaw on CNN.
61. Beach volleyball has always been a recognized sport.
62. Acura, Lexus and Infiniti have always been luxury cars of choice.
63. Television stations have never concluded the broadcast day with the national anthem.
64. LoJack transmitters have always been finding lost cars.
65. Diane Sawyer has always been live in Prime Time.
66. Dolphin-free canned tuna has always been on sale.
67. Disposable contact lenses have always been available.
68. "Outing" has always been a threat.
69. "Oh, The Places You'll Go" by Dr. Seuss has always been the perfect graduation gift.
70. They have always "dissed" what they don't like.
71. The U.S. has always been studying global warming to confirm its existence.
72. Richard M. Daley has always been the Mayor of Chicago.
73. They grew up with virtual pets to feed, water, and play games with, lest they die.
74. Ringo Starr has always been clean and sober.
75. Professional athletes have always competed in the Olympics.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Useful Math Conversions...
1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong
7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Sterling
8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
11. Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line
12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
13. 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone
14. 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle
16. 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
17. 52 cards = 1 decacards
18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton
19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen
20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
22. 10 rations = 1 decoration
23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration
24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram
25. 4 nickels = 2 paradigms
26. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong
7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Sterling
8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
11. Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line
12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
13. 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone
14. 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle
16. 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
17. 52 cards = 1 decacards
18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton
19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen
20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
22. 10 rations = 1 decoration
23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration
24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram
25. 4 nickels = 2 paradigms
26. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League
Sunday, July 30, 2006
My "lament"
OK...so sometimes life isn't "fair".
I have been a fan of Rick Springfield since the 7th grade (no comment on how long ago that was). One of my best friends, Dwayne, got tickets for him and his wife to go see Rick Springfield in Atlanta this past weekend after we had finished classes in Tallahassee. On Friday Jenny and her sister went to Atlanta where they got to go to the sound check for the concert and meet Rick Springfield! On Saturday, Dwayne and his brother-in-law (Kevin) drove to meet their girls and go to the concert. They had backstage passes and everything! I just got the attached picture from Dwayne, Jenny sure looks happy!!! Dwayne said the concert was great. It started raining so a number of people left and the remaining crowd just had a blast. Rick moved out in the audience and got everyone involved.
ALSO...my brother and his wife are living in Edinburgh, Scotland right now. Every August they have a huge arts festival (the Shakespeare festival is just a small part of all of the festivities). So, I recently found out that Howard Jones (one of my all time favorite singers) is going to be a part of the festival in Edinburgh this year. My brother will be in the same city as Howard Jones!!
I, on the other hand, am stuck in this dinky town in north-central Florida. The best part of the last 3 days is that my 2nd summer of grad school is done and I've been able to get some sleep (since I was greatly deprived of that over the last 5 weeks). The worst part is that teachers start tomorrow and I really am not looking forward to being at CRHS this year. For whatever the reason God wants me there for at least another year. I just pray the year goes quietly and without any event.
I am glad my friends/family at getting these experiences, though...plus, my time will come;-)
Jenny and Rick Springfield
I have been a fan of Rick Springfield since the 7th grade (no comment on how long ago that was). One of my best friends, Dwayne, got tickets for him and his wife to go see Rick Springfield in Atlanta this past weekend after we had finished classes in Tallahassee. On Friday Jenny and her sister went to Atlanta where they got to go to the sound check for the concert and meet Rick Springfield! On Saturday, Dwayne and his brother-in-law (Kevin) drove to meet their girls and go to the concert. They had backstage passes and everything! I just got the attached picture from Dwayne, Jenny sure looks happy!!! Dwayne said the concert was great. It started raining so a number of people left and the remaining crowd just had a blast. Rick moved out in the audience and got everyone involved.
ALSO...my brother and his wife are living in Edinburgh, Scotland right now. Every August they have a huge arts festival (the Shakespeare festival is just a small part of all of the festivities). So, I recently found out that Howard Jones (one of my all time favorite singers) is going to be a part of the festival in Edinburgh this year. My brother will be in the same city as Howard Jones!!
I, on the other hand, am stuck in this dinky town in north-central Florida. The best part of the last 3 days is that my 2nd summer of grad school is done and I've been able to get some sleep (since I was greatly deprived of that over the last 5 weeks). The worst part is that teachers start tomorrow and I really am not looking forward to being at CRHS this year. For whatever the reason God wants me there for at least another year. I just pray the year goes quietly and without any event.
I am glad my friends/family at getting these experiences, though...plus, my time will come;-)
Jenny and Rick Springfield
An honest prayer...
Lord, deliver me from the urge to open my mouth when I should shut it. Give me the wisdom to keep silence where silence is wise. Remind me that not everything needs to be said, and that there are very few things that need to be said by me.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
How to Do the Job You Don't Really Want To Do (aka-what God taught me today)
Author: Elisabeth Elliot
Source: A Lamp For My Feet
How to Do the Job You Don't Really Want To Do
Certain aspects of the job the Lord has given me to do are very easy to postpone. I make excuses, find other things that take precedence, and, when I finally get down to business to do it, it is not always with much grace. A new perspective has helped me recently:
The job has been given to me to do.
Therefore it is a gift.
Therefore it is a privilege.
Therefore it is an offering I may make to God.
Therefore it is to be done gladly, if it is done for Him.
Therefore it is the route to sanctity.
Here, not somewhere else, I may learn God's way. In this job, not in some other, God looks for faithfulness. The discipline of this job is, in fact, the chisel God has chosen to shape me with--into the image of Christ.
Thank you, Lord, for the work You have assigned me. I take it as your gift; I offer it back to you. With your help I will do it gladly, faithfully, and I will trust You to make me holy.
Source: A Lamp For My Feet
How to Do the Job You Don't Really Want To Do
Certain aspects of the job the Lord has given me to do are very easy to postpone. I make excuses, find other things that take precedence, and, when I finally get down to business to do it, it is not always with much grace. A new perspective has helped me recently:
The job has been given to me to do.
Therefore it is a gift.
Therefore it is a privilege.
Therefore it is an offering I may make to God.
Therefore it is to be done gladly, if it is done for Him.
Therefore it is the route to sanctity.
Here, not somewhere else, I may learn God's way. In this job, not in some other, God looks for faithfulness. The discipline of this job is, in fact, the chisel God has chosen to shape me with--into the image of Christ.
Thank you, Lord, for the work You have assigned me. I take it as your gift; I offer it back to you. With your help I will do it gladly, faithfully, and I will trust You to make me holy.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
The Quiet of the Evening...
Today has been really quiet...boring, even. Tom is on mids right now so he leaves for work before 5 p.m. and will be home around 7-ish tomorrow morning and then has to sleep for most of the day. I haven't don't much today. I SHOULD have used the day to read several plays for one of my grad school classes; however, I didn't. I haven't done much of anything today and that may not be a bad thing.
Next Saturday I move to FSU for my second year of grad school. I'm a little nervous. I have NO idea how the classes are going to go. Michael's performance class has a monologue and directing assignment due the first week. (still haven't found a monologue, yet, or given much thought to the directing work) Page's Gender/Race/Performance class has an unusual reading list. I've purchased 10 of the books and we just got the rest of the reading list on Thursday. Ordered the remaining books from Barnes & Noble today and they should be here by Friday. (need to have the 10 titles I have read asap) Colleen's Creative Design class is an unknown right now. We had a posting on Blackboard about the class but some of the information was for when the class was offered last fall. They did quite a bit of work and had to do drawings and such. I'm glad I pulled out my pencils from 'Freehand Drawing I' and decided to bring them. If we don't end up needing them, no problem...they don't take up much room. I've barely starting packing...there is so much to do!!!
It looks like I'll be living in the same place as last year. It isn't a bad place. It is a little expensive but everything is included. I just hope any roommates there are decent. I wouldn't mind if a couple of them aren't there for most of the session, though. I guess if it gets too bad I can go to Strozer or give Dwayne a call. Worst case, I contact the floor RA and complain.
I still don't know anything about next year. Part of me just wants to quit CRHS and be done with it. I just don't know if that is what God wants me to do. I still have so much peace about leaving there and the thought of teaching there next year makes me ill. I haven't heard anything from CFCC, though. I figure I'll wait until the end of next week and I'll e-mail Dave Hartley again. I appreciate everyone praying about this whole thing. Right now I do know I want to go to CFCC and work as Mr. Hartley's assistant starting in August of this year. I know I have spent my fair share of time talking to God about all of this. I know I need to trust and wait on him...but, of course, I want the answers now. Anybody have any words of wisdom about this whole thing???
Next Saturday I move to FSU for my second year of grad school. I'm a little nervous. I have NO idea how the classes are going to go. Michael's performance class has a monologue and directing assignment due the first week. (still haven't found a monologue, yet, or given much thought to the directing work) Page's Gender/Race/Performance class has an unusual reading list. I've purchased 10 of the books and we just got the rest of the reading list on Thursday. Ordered the remaining books from Barnes & Noble today and they should be here by Friday. (need to have the 10 titles I have read asap) Colleen's Creative Design class is an unknown right now. We had a posting on Blackboard about the class but some of the information was for when the class was offered last fall. They did quite a bit of work and had to do drawings and such. I'm glad I pulled out my pencils from 'Freehand Drawing I' and decided to bring them. If we don't end up needing them, no problem...they don't take up much room. I've barely starting packing...there is so much to do!!!
It looks like I'll be living in the same place as last year. It isn't a bad place. It is a little expensive but everything is included. I just hope any roommates there are decent. I wouldn't mind if a couple of them aren't there for most of the session, though. I guess if it gets too bad I can go to Strozer or give Dwayne a call. Worst case, I contact the floor RA and complain.
I still don't know anything about next year. Part of me just wants to quit CRHS and be done with it. I just don't know if that is what God wants me to do. I still have so much peace about leaving there and the thought of teaching there next year makes me ill. I haven't heard anything from CFCC, though. I figure I'll wait until the end of next week and I'll e-mail Dave Hartley again. I appreciate everyone praying about this whole thing. Right now I do know I want to go to CFCC and work as Mr. Hartley's assistant starting in August of this year. I know I have spent my fair share of time talking to God about all of this. I know I need to trust and wait on him...but, of course, I want the answers now. Anybody have any words of wisdom about this whole thing???
Sunday, June 11, 2006
God is in control...
Author: Elisabeth Elliot
Source: A Lamp For My Feet
Scripture: Luke 23:47
Responsible to Praise
We cannot always or even often control events, but we can control how we respond to them. When things happen which dismay or appall, we ought to look to God for his meaning, remembering that He is not taken by surprise nor can his purposes be thwarted in the end. What God looks for is those who will worship Him. Our look of inquiring trust glorifies Him.
One of the witnesses to the crucifixion was a military officer to whom the scene was surely not a novelty. He had seen plenty of criminals nailed up. But the response of this Man who hung there was of such an utterly different nature than that of the others that the centurion knew at once that He was innocent. His own response then, rather than one of despair that such a terrible injustice should take place, or of anger at God who might have prevented it, was praise (Lk 23:47 NEB).
This is our first responsibility: to glorify God. In the face of life's worst reversals and tragedies, the response of a faithful Christian is praise--not for the wrong itself certainly, but for who God is and for the ultimate assurance that there is a pattern being worked out for those who love Him.
Source: A Lamp For My Feet
Scripture: Luke 23:47
Responsible to Praise
We cannot always or even often control events, but we can control how we respond to them. When things happen which dismay or appall, we ought to look to God for his meaning, remembering that He is not taken by surprise nor can his purposes be thwarted in the end. What God looks for is those who will worship Him. Our look of inquiring trust glorifies Him.
One of the witnesses to the crucifixion was a military officer to whom the scene was surely not a novelty. He had seen plenty of criminals nailed up. But the response of this Man who hung there was of such an utterly different nature than that of the others that the centurion knew at once that He was innocent. His own response then, rather than one of despair that such a terrible injustice should take place, or of anger at God who might have prevented it, was praise (Lk 23:47 NEB).
This is our first responsibility: to glorify God. In the face of life's worst reversals and tragedies, the response of a faithful Christian is praise--not for the wrong itself certainly, but for who God is and for the ultimate assurance that there is a pattern being worked out for those who love Him.
Friday, June 09, 2006
It Is Well With My Soul...
I may not understand what is going on in my life right now; however, I do know that God is in control.
Wednesday I had to have an outpatient procedure. That morning, I awoke early. Unable to go back to sleep, I lay in bed, dozing and praying. In the stillness of the morning I became aware of a hymn playing over and over in my head...in my body...in my soul. It is well with my soul...all day that played inside of me. At times during the day I felt like the rest of the world had to hear the music it seemed so loud at times.
I am at a cross road. I am increasingly unhappy at CRHS. There are so many things going on there that are making it increasingly difficult to do my job. I believe God is leading me to leave and I have such a peace with the thought. It is interesting how He can make things happen. There is actual, literal revulsion in me at the thought of returning to CRHS for another year compared to peace and tranquility with leaving.
I am praying (and believing) that God will open a position at CFCC. Going there to work with Dave Hartley would be a dream come true. I am trusting that God will provide the job by August of this year. (There...I said it) Presently, a job doesn't exist; however, that doesn't mean God can't make one appear...true? Mr.Hartley and I have talked many times about how he needs an assistant and how I would love to work with him again. People there have talked about wanting me there.
As I wait for God to show Himself in amazing ways, and deliver this poor soul from Egypt, "It is well with my soul" will continue to play in my heart.
It Is Well with My Soul
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
“Praise the Lord, O my soul.” Psalm 146:1
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be
removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though the waters thereof roar and be
troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah. Psalm 46:1-3
Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the LORD, O my soul, and
forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; Who redeemeth thy life
from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies; Who satisfieth thy mouth with
good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's. The LORD executeth righteousness and judgment for
all that are oppressed. Psalm 103: 1-6
Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at
hand. Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be
made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and
minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be
troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27
Wednesday I had to have an outpatient procedure. That morning, I awoke early. Unable to go back to sleep, I lay in bed, dozing and praying. In the stillness of the morning I became aware of a hymn playing over and over in my head...in my body...in my soul. It is well with my soul...all day that played inside of me. At times during the day I felt like the rest of the world had to hear the music it seemed so loud at times.
I am at a cross road. I am increasingly unhappy at CRHS. There are so many things going on there that are making it increasingly difficult to do my job. I believe God is leading me to leave and I have such a peace with the thought. It is interesting how He can make things happen. There is actual, literal revulsion in me at the thought of returning to CRHS for another year compared to peace and tranquility with leaving.
I am praying (and believing) that God will open a position at CFCC. Going there to work with Dave Hartley would be a dream come true. I am trusting that God will provide the job by August of this year. (There...I said it) Presently, a job doesn't exist; however, that doesn't mean God can't make one appear...true? Mr.Hartley and I have talked many times about how he needs an assistant and how I would love to work with him again. People there have talked about wanting me there.
As I wait for God to show Himself in amazing ways, and deliver this poor soul from Egypt, "It is well with my soul" will continue to play in my heart.
It Is Well with My Soul
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
“Praise the Lord, O my soul.” Psalm 146:1
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be
removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though the waters thereof roar and be
troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah. Psalm 46:1-3
Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the LORD, O my soul, and
forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; Who redeemeth thy life
from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies; Who satisfieth thy mouth with
good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's. The LORD executeth righteousness and judgment for
all that are oppressed. Psalm 103: 1-6
Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at
hand. Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be
made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and
minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be
troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27
Monday, June 05, 2006
What to do????
I am in the midst of a "life crisis". So much is going on and I hardly know where to start. I have a choice to make and I don't know what to do. The decision will have great impact on so many things. I see change coming and it is scary. God is moving in so many ways. I know He is in control (and thank goodness for that 'cause I'd probably make a mess of it all!) I am sure in the day's and weeks to come I will have more to say and the enigmatic quality of this post will become more clear. I do know if God wants me to continue on this path He will make all of the obstacles disappear. It will become clear the way He wants me to follow.
In the mean time, pray for me.
In the mean time, pray for me.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
What God taugth me today...
Author: Theodore Epp
Source: Strength for the Journey
Scripture Reference: Exodus 18:13-27
Delegating Responsibility
As I have studied the Word of God concerning leadership, I have come to certain conclusions about spiritual principles of good leadership. These principles can be applied not only by leaders of organizations but by Sunday school teachers or by anyone with responsibility.
First, God uses people to do His work. When He has a job to do, He calls an individual to do it. Remember, however, that it took Moses a long time to become prepared for his task, and it sometimes takes leaders today a long time to be prepared for their tasks.
Second, when the task becomes too much for the one person God originally called, He calls others to work with the first individual.
Third, God holds the first individual responsible for the work done by the other individuals. This principle applies especially to the spiritual aspects of the work.
This principle was particularly evident in Moses' leadership. Even though responsibility and authority could be delegated to others, he was still directly responsible before God.
God knows what work He wants accomplished, and He gives individuals responsibilities in order to accomplish that work. The only way that God's work can be done effectively is for individual believers to know what God wants them to do.
"But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him" (1 Cor. 12:18).
Source: Strength for the Journey
Scripture Reference: Exodus 18:13-27
Delegating Responsibility
As I have studied the Word of God concerning leadership, I have come to certain conclusions about spiritual principles of good leadership. These principles can be applied not only by leaders of organizations but by Sunday school teachers or by anyone with responsibility.
First, God uses people to do His work. When He has a job to do, He calls an individual to do it. Remember, however, that it took Moses a long time to become prepared for his task, and it sometimes takes leaders today a long time to be prepared for their tasks.
Second, when the task becomes too much for the one person God originally called, He calls others to work with the first individual.
Third, God holds the first individual responsible for the work done by the other individuals. This principle applies especially to the spiritual aspects of the work.
This principle was particularly evident in Moses' leadership. Even though responsibility and authority could be delegated to others, he was still directly responsible before God.
God knows what work He wants accomplished, and He gives individuals responsibilities in order to accomplish that work. The only way that God's work can be done effectively is for individual believers to know what God wants them to do.
"But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him" (1 Cor. 12:18).
Monday, May 08, 2006
Distractions to Prayer
As mentioned in a previous blog, I've been working on my prayer life. It is awesome how God knows what we need and then puts what we need in out path. I get several e-mail devotionals. I try to stop the chaos of my life when I discover them in my inbox and take the time to read and ponder over them for a minute or two. Sometimes I find myself looking at exactly what I need at that minute. I got this today and couldn't believe how this was the very thing I was struggling with. Last night it seemed like my mind was going in 100 different directions as I tried to pray. No matter what, it seemed that my prayers kept getting derailed. I was frustrated and didn't know what to do. I really needed the encouragement I found in my inbox when I got up this morning. All I can say is, "Isn't this just like God?"
Distractions to Prayer by Elizabeth Elliot
No one who has tried to pray for more than a few seconds at a time would claim that he is never distracted. It is astonishing to note how insistently and immediately irrelevant matters come to mind, noises occur, things to be attended to are remembered, people interrupt, and even physical discomforts or pains bother us which we had not noticed until we tried to pray. These things are, of course, the work of the master saboteur of souls, who knows how to render our spiritual machinery useless, by the loosening of the tiniest screw or the loss of the smallest nut.
Distractions can be useful. They provide constant reminders of our human weakness. We recognize in them how earthbound we are, and then how completely we must depend on the help of the Holy Spirit to pray in and through us. We are shown, by a thousand trivialities, how trivial are our concerns. The very effort to focus, even for a minute, on higher things, is foiled, and we see that prayer--the prerequisite for doing anything for God--cannot be done without Him. We are not, however, left to fend for ourselves.
"The Spirit too comes to help us in our weakness. For when we cannot choose words in order to pray properly, the Spirit himself expresses our plea in a way that could never be put into words, and God who knows everything in our hearts knows perfectly well what he means, and that the pleas of the saints expressed by the Spirit are according to the mind of God" (Romans 8:26-27 JB).
Distractions to Prayer by Elizabeth Elliot
No one who has tried to pray for more than a few seconds at a time would claim that he is never distracted. It is astonishing to note how insistently and immediately irrelevant matters come to mind, noises occur, things to be attended to are remembered, people interrupt, and even physical discomforts or pains bother us which we had not noticed until we tried to pray. These things are, of course, the work of the master saboteur of souls, who knows how to render our spiritual machinery useless, by the loosening of the tiniest screw or the loss of the smallest nut.
Distractions can be useful. They provide constant reminders of our human weakness. We recognize in them how earthbound we are, and then how completely we must depend on the help of the Holy Spirit to pray in and through us. We are shown, by a thousand trivialities, how trivial are our concerns. The very effort to focus, even for a minute, on higher things, is foiled, and we see that prayer--the prerequisite for doing anything for God--cannot be done without Him. We are not, however, left to fend for ourselves.
"The Spirit too comes to help us in our weakness. For when we cannot choose words in order to pray properly, the Spirit himself expresses our plea in a way that could never be put into words, and God who knows everything in our hearts knows perfectly well what he means, and that the pleas of the saints expressed by the Spirit are according to the mind of God" (Romans 8:26-27 JB).
Monday, May 01, 2006
Pray with Jesus by Elizabeth Elliot
I've been working a lot on prayer and devotion in my Christian walk. I know I'm coming through a spell where I have been more distant from Christ than I should be. 'Stuff' was piling up and I tried to handle it all on my own instead of giving it over to God and letting him be in control. I guess I figured that God was busy taking care of the worlds troubles so he didn't need to be bothered with my issues. (This is something I struggle with from time to time.) You would think that I would learn that I am no good at juggling...that when I try to do it all, 'keep all the balls in the air' as it were, I fail and it all comes falling down. THEN I run to the feet of God, throw myself at his mercy and sob, 'Hi God...it's me. I screwed up, again. Help?!' Maybe not the most eloquent or theological of prayers but it is honest. And God is faithful, isn't that just like him?, and he rescues me...He helps fix the mess. His mercy knows no bounds.
Speaking of 'mercy', Nancy Kennedy (a PCA author) lives in my area and writes a weekly column in our local paper (The Citrus County Chronicle...check it out!). She wrote about mercy this past weekend (well, it was more than that but mercy was part of it) and talked about how she misspelled mercy 'mecry'. That sometimes mercy does that to us...puts us on our knees and we cry. Her words really hit me. It was as if God was speaking right to me. His mercy know no limits. How could that thought alone not bring me to tears?
The below devotional came across my path today. Isn't it amazing how God sends us just what we need?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Because I am "of the earth, earthy," I find that my prayers for the people I love are mostly bound by very earthy concerns--Lord, help P. to find a good wife, show G. which college to attend, provide money for W.'s house and E.'s car, help T. with his book, give X. a better job. It is meet and proper to pray for such things, but not to pray only for such things. There are prayers of far more lasting import which we must also learn to pray. We can find words for those in the prayer of Jesus for the people He loved:
1. that they may be one;
2. that they may find his joy completed in themselves;
3. that they may be kept from evil;
4. that they may be made holy by the truth;
5. that they may live in Christ;
6. that they may grow complete into one;
7. that they may be with him;
8. that the love which God has for Christ may be in their hearts.
If we learn to pray that kind of prayer, it will perhaps amend the "lesser" prayers.
Lord, teach me to pray. Open my eyes to see beyond the earthly to the heavenly. Let my primary concerns be heavenly ones, that your kingdom may come on earth, your will be done in me and in those I love. Teach me to pray with Jesus, for his sake. Amen.
Speaking of 'mercy', Nancy Kennedy (a PCA author) lives in my area and writes a weekly column in our local paper (The Citrus County Chronicle...check it out!). She wrote about mercy this past weekend (well, it was more than that but mercy was part of it) and talked about how she misspelled mercy 'mecry'. That sometimes mercy does that to us...puts us on our knees and we cry. Her words really hit me. It was as if God was speaking right to me. His mercy know no limits. How could that thought alone not bring me to tears?
The below devotional came across my path today. Isn't it amazing how God sends us just what we need?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Because I am "of the earth, earthy," I find that my prayers for the people I love are mostly bound by very earthy concerns--Lord, help P. to find a good wife, show G. which college to attend, provide money for W.'s house and E.'s car, help T. with his book, give X. a better job. It is meet and proper to pray for such things, but not to pray only for such things. There are prayers of far more lasting import which we must also learn to pray. We can find words for those in the prayer of Jesus for the people He loved:
1. that they may be one;
2. that they may find his joy completed in themselves;
3. that they may be kept from evil;
4. that they may be made holy by the truth;
5. that they may live in Christ;
6. that they may grow complete into one;
7. that they may be with him;
8. that the love which God has for Christ may be in their hearts.
If we learn to pray that kind of prayer, it will perhaps amend the "lesser" prayers.
Lord, teach me to pray. Open my eyes to see beyond the earthly to the heavenly. Let my primary concerns be heavenly ones, that your kingdom may come on earth, your will be done in me and in those I love. Teach me to pray with Jesus, for his sake. Amen.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
One more from stiktek.com
Ok...so maybe I'm one of a small percent that will find most of these funny. But, then again, maybe for some of you it will give you a small glimpse into the humor of my profession. I have 3 t-shirts from these guys (a classic 'Tek', 'Lighting Tek' and one of their newest designs 'ChikTek') and I LOVE them!
Enjoy!
More techie humor from stiktek.com
"Drew's Fantasy"?????
My favorite one of all time isn't on this one..."If all the worlds a stage, I want better lighting".
These two are too funny...
Too bad they left the "ACTOR" off of the bottom of this one. To truly appreciate the humor you have to have the punch-line!
I guess we all dream of having our star on Hollywood Blvd. Maybe on of my former students will have the honor one day...and they'll invite me to attend the ceremony!
A little theatre humor (thanks to stiktek.com)
AH...yes... the wisdom of Stiktec.
Stiktec convention??? Where can I sign up to attend!!!
I LOVE this one. Gaffe tape holds the theatre world together!!! If I ever need a good costume, I may do this.
If a techie ever says this to me I don't know what I would do. I guess this one could be called "Drew's worst nightmare".
I've felt like this on several productions. In the original cartoon Stiktec hits himself on the head with the hammer over and over. This bit of animation alone makes it worth going to the website to check it out.
Long...but worth reading. Kinda puts some things into perspective
In 2003, college students Mike Yankoski and Sam Purvis voluntarily became homeless in order to experience what life is like for the poor in America. For five months, both men traveled through five different cities with bare essentials and two acoustic guitars. Singing worship songs while panhandling, Mike and Sam got to know homeless people and saw firsthand whether churches respond to their needs. Below are excerpts from "Under the Overpass," Mike's book about his travels.
WASHINGTON D.C.
Communion on an Empty Stomach
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, especially when you didn’t eat the night before.
In D.C., the only place we found to get breakfast on Sundays was at an Episcopal church in the heart of the city. The old church’s oak pews were at least softer than concrete, and seemed almost welcoming after a night on the sidewalk.
Each morning, a female priest spoke briefly on the passage of the day while more than a hundred homeless men and women sat scattered through the sanctuary, enduring the mandatory service. Some rocked slowly back and forth. Others talked to themselves, or coughed incessantly. Some slept quietly, others snored loudly. Some escaped to the sounds of heavy metal in their headphones. Some actually listened, and you’d hear an occasional “Amen” ringing out through the expansive sanctuary, usually well after the priest had begun her next sentence.
One Sunday, the priest offered communion, and about 40 of us ragged souls walked up and kneeled down around the pulpit.
I knelt next to a huge man who had been seated in front of me. His broad shoulders and large, rough hands told of a lifetime of hard labor. The wrinkles in his weathered face were thrown into dark relief by the dirt that had collected in them. His long graying hair and beard were stained and thick with debris.
As I knelt beside him, he started coughing violently, a thick gurgle rising from his lungs between convulsions. He braced himself against the floor with both hands until he could regain his composure, then he wiped his eyes, shifted back to a kneeling position, and waited.
The priest moved quietly around the circle, leaning down to each person. “This is the body of Christ, which was broken for you,” she said, looking each in the eye. Then she came around again with the cup. “This is the blood of Christ, which was shed for you.” The white of her cloak shone brilliantly against our filth.
By the time she brought the cup to the big guy next to me, he was back on his hands again, struggling for breath. She stopped directly in front of him and waited for him to rise. When he could look up at her, she held the shining silver cup as he put it to his lips. I heard him swallow, and as he handed the cup back to the priest, two drops of wine ran down his mustache and disappeared into his beard.
The priest wiped the cup where he had received and stepped in front of me. "This is the blood of Christ..."
I’d never taken communion on an empty stomach before. The cup burns when you’re hungry. It goes deeper, quicker, when there’s nothing to stop it.
The priest moved on, and with a deep sigh, the big man next to me crossed his chest and pushed himself to his feet. I rose too, and before we walked back to our seats, we caught each other’s gaze and nodded.
SAN FRANCISCO
The Grace of Pizza
It was a busy Saturday night in Berkeley, throngs of students everywhere. We’d come here on BART (the Bay Area Rapid Transit system) earlier in the day in a search of better panhandling. So far, we were doing okay on the donations, not so great on the requests. We just never seemed to know the songs others wanted to hear.
My fingers were getting sore from hours of playing. I stood to stretch, then yawned and laughed.
“What?” Sam asked.
“You know, before we came out here, a part of me was excited to have all this time to play the guitar. I figured I’d get a lot better. Six months on the street and I’d be the next Dave Matthews.”
Sam confessed to having similar thoughts. I examined the calluses on my left hand. “We’ve gotten a little better, but not much. Out here, you don’t play to get better, you play to eat.”
“Yup, and that means being heard above the traffic.”
“So we’re not really playing and singing, right?” I said. “We’re strumming and yelling. We’re getting better at strumming and yelling.”
We both laughed, and I sat down to begin again. Just then three guys walked past, the lead guy carrying a pizza box.
“Hey bro!” I called. “You going to eat the rest of that pizza?”
The guy stopped, looked from Sam and me to his box of pizza, then said, “Nope.” Shaking his head, he walked over. “You want it?” he asked.
“Sure!” I said, and he handed it down to us.
We thanked him profusely. “No problem,” he said, walking away. “Enjoy.”
Opening the box we found half a pepperoni pizza. “Unbelievable!” Sam yelled.
“This is the good stuff!” I said, grabbing a piece. “Father, thank you for this food!”
We sat there, happily devouring the still-warm pizza. By the time we were down to the crumbs, we were ready for more conversation.
“‘Father, thank you for this food’ means something different out here, doesn’t it?” I said.
“Sure does,” said Sam. “I don’t know if I’ll ever say it so sincerely again after we get back.”
“I hope I don’t change,” I said.
We sat watching people walk by, thinking about pizza and thankfulness. “What do you think would have happened if the Israelites hadn’t gone out and picked up the manna God sent,” I asked.
“And your meaning is?” said Sam.
“I mean, don’t you think they would have starved if they never actually went out and picked the manna off the ground?”
Sam looked at me as if I had pepperoni poisoning. Finally, he responded. “Yeah, probably. They had to eat, and God was providing, but—yes—they had to go out and pick it up.”
“Exactly!” I said enthusiastically. “They had to pick it up! How dumb would it have been if some had starved because they refused to take what God was providing.”
Sam sounded thoughtful. “I’d be a lot more hungry right now if we hadn’t asked those guys for their leftover pizza.”
“Right,” I said, nodding. “We prayed for God’s provision, right? We prayed that He would bless us and give us what we need. But then when it walked by, we had to make our move. Asking and receiving means different things out here on the streets than back home. But the idea is the same.”
Sam didn’t look nearly impressed enough by my line of logic. So I kept at it.
“Just like you said,” I continued, “we’d be a lot more hungry if we hadn’t asked for that pizza. God answered our prayers for provision, but we still had to ask these guys for it. We still had to ‘pick up the manna.’”
Now Sam was nodding. “I wonder how much we miss because we’re unwilling to pick it up. That verse in Matthew, ‘Knock and the door will be opened,’ why have the door opened if you don’t walk through?”
“I know,” I said. “Kinda scary.”
“It’s like asking God to bless your day, then when He puts a needy, smelly person in front of you that you could really help, you wonder what you did to deserve such rotten luck.”
“Yep!” I agreed.
We both felt insightful, mature, brilliant to the point of genius. Manna does that to you.
In no time at all, we were back to strumming and yelling.
PHOENIX
Sleeping on the Church Steps (or Why We Didn't Go To Church)
Although Sam and I had spent every Sunday morning at church somewhere on our travels, the lack of community was taking a toll on us. Even at church, we felt isolated because of how we looked, how we smelled, and who people perceived us to be. In fact, walking into a church where we hoped to find genuine fellowship only to be met by condescension or suspicion or disingenuous flattery was the worst kind of rejection. One night in Phoenix we stretched out our sleeping bags in front of a church’s main doors hoping that early the next morning we would be awakened by a kindhearted churchgoer wondering if he could help us in some way. A simple, obvious plan, we thought, but it didn’t work.
At about 7 the next morning, while a dream of wintertime in the Rockies cooled my sweating body, a far away voice pulled me back to reality. “And before we read from Romans 8, let us pray together...”
Sam and I were still on the steps of the church and already baking in the morning sun. I rolled over to look through the sanctuary windows. A small gathering was standing while the pastor led in prayer. The early service was just getting under way inside, but for us, the voice came from a speaker just above where we slept.
“Sam,” I said, nudging him awake.
“Yeah?” He sat up and shaking his head.
“Did anybody wake you up?” I said pointing into the sanctuary.
"No way,” he said. We both realized what had happened. Every person inside had gone through a side door. “Nobody woke me up. You?”
“Nope.”
The pastor was ending his prayer. “Lord, teach us to look not unto ourselves but unto you and unto others...” With a loud Amen that came metallically through the speaker above, the congregation took its seat and he began his sermon.
Already soaked with sweat, we decided to pack up and move on. “Wow,” said Sam, “I thought we were making it easy for them!”
But were we? I’m not so sure now. I think two sleeping transients on the church steps early one morning would make most people uneasy, Christian or not. The need is unexpected, out of place, and a little disturbing. Yet it is in exactly here, in the difficult circumstances, that Christ’s love should take risks to meet needs. In A Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning describes what that kind of love looks like: “To evangelize a person is to say to him or her: you too are loved by God and the Lord Jesus. And not only to say it but to really think it, and relate it to them so they can sense it. But that becomes possible only by offering the person your friendship, a friendship that is real, unselfish, without condescension, full of confidence and profound esteem.”
WASHINGTON D.C.
Communion on an Empty Stomach
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, especially when you didn’t eat the night before.
In D.C., the only place we found to get breakfast on Sundays was at an Episcopal church in the heart of the city. The old church’s oak pews were at least softer than concrete, and seemed almost welcoming after a night on the sidewalk.
Each morning, a female priest spoke briefly on the passage of the day while more than a hundred homeless men and women sat scattered through the sanctuary, enduring the mandatory service. Some rocked slowly back and forth. Others talked to themselves, or coughed incessantly. Some slept quietly, others snored loudly. Some escaped to the sounds of heavy metal in their headphones. Some actually listened, and you’d hear an occasional “Amen” ringing out through the expansive sanctuary, usually well after the priest had begun her next sentence.
One Sunday, the priest offered communion, and about 40 of us ragged souls walked up and kneeled down around the pulpit.
I knelt next to a huge man who had been seated in front of me. His broad shoulders and large, rough hands told of a lifetime of hard labor. The wrinkles in his weathered face were thrown into dark relief by the dirt that had collected in them. His long graying hair and beard were stained and thick with debris.
As I knelt beside him, he started coughing violently, a thick gurgle rising from his lungs between convulsions. He braced himself against the floor with both hands until he could regain his composure, then he wiped his eyes, shifted back to a kneeling position, and waited.
The priest moved quietly around the circle, leaning down to each person. “This is the body of Christ, which was broken for you,” she said, looking each in the eye. Then she came around again with the cup. “This is the blood of Christ, which was shed for you.” The white of her cloak shone brilliantly against our filth.
By the time she brought the cup to the big guy next to me, he was back on his hands again, struggling for breath. She stopped directly in front of him and waited for him to rise. When he could look up at her, she held the shining silver cup as he put it to his lips. I heard him swallow, and as he handed the cup back to the priest, two drops of wine ran down his mustache and disappeared into his beard.
The priest wiped the cup where he had received and stepped in front of me. "This is the blood of Christ..."
I’d never taken communion on an empty stomach before. The cup burns when you’re hungry. It goes deeper, quicker, when there’s nothing to stop it.
The priest moved on, and with a deep sigh, the big man next to me crossed his chest and pushed himself to his feet. I rose too, and before we walked back to our seats, we caught each other’s gaze and nodded.
SAN FRANCISCO
The Grace of Pizza
It was a busy Saturday night in Berkeley, throngs of students everywhere. We’d come here on BART (the Bay Area Rapid Transit system) earlier in the day in a search of better panhandling. So far, we were doing okay on the donations, not so great on the requests. We just never seemed to know the songs others wanted to hear.
My fingers were getting sore from hours of playing. I stood to stretch, then yawned and laughed.
“What?” Sam asked.
“You know, before we came out here, a part of me was excited to have all this time to play the guitar. I figured I’d get a lot better. Six months on the street and I’d be the next Dave Matthews.”
Sam confessed to having similar thoughts. I examined the calluses on my left hand. “We’ve gotten a little better, but not much. Out here, you don’t play to get better, you play to eat.”
“Yup, and that means being heard above the traffic.”
“So we’re not really playing and singing, right?” I said. “We’re strumming and yelling. We’re getting better at strumming and yelling.”
We both laughed, and I sat down to begin again. Just then three guys walked past, the lead guy carrying a pizza box.
“Hey bro!” I called. “You going to eat the rest of that pizza?”
The guy stopped, looked from Sam and me to his box of pizza, then said, “Nope.” Shaking his head, he walked over. “You want it?” he asked.
“Sure!” I said, and he handed it down to us.
We thanked him profusely. “No problem,” he said, walking away. “Enjoy.”
Opening the box we found half a pepperoni pizza. “Unbelievable!” Sam yelled.
“This is the good stuff!” I said, grabbing a piece. “Father, thank you for this food!”
We sat there, happily devouring the still-warm pizza. By the time we were down to the crumbs, we were ready for more conversation.
“‘Father, thank you for this food’ means something different out here, doesn’t it?” I said.
“Sure does,” said Sam. “I don’t know if I’ll ever say it so sincerely again after we get back.”
“I hope I don’t change,” I said.
We sat watching people walk by, thinking about pizza and thankfulness. “What do you think would have happened if the Israelites hadn’t gone out and picked up the manna God sent,” I asked.
“And your meaning is?” said Sam.
“I mean, don’t you think they would have starved if they never actually went out and picked the manna off the ground?”
Sam looked at me as if I had pepperoni poisoning. Finally, he responded. “Yeah, probably. They had to eat, and God was providing, but—yes—they had to go out and pick it up.”
“Exactly!” I said enthusiastically. “They had to pick it up! How dumb would it have been if some had starved because they refused to take what God was providing.”
Sam sounded thoughtful. “I’d be a lot more hungry right now if we hadn’t asked those guys for their leftover pizza.”
“Right,” I said, nodding. “We prayed for God’s provision, right? We prayed that He would bless us and give us what we need. But then when it walked by, we had to make our move. Asking and receiving means different things out here on the streets than back home. But the idea is the same.”
Sam didn’t look nearly impressed enough by my line of logic. So I kept at it.
“Just like you said,” I continued, “we’d be a lot more hungry if we hadn’t asked for that pizza. God answered our prayers for provision, but we still had to ask these guys for it. We still had to ‘pick up the manna.’”
Now Sam was nodding. “I wonder how much we miss because we’re unwilling to pick it up. That verse in Matthew, ‘Knock and the door will be opened,’ why have the door opened if you don’t walk through?”
“I know,” I said. “Kinda scary.”
“It’s like asking God to bless your day, then when He puts a needy, smelly person in front of you that you could really help, you wonder what you did to deserve such rotten luck.”
“Yep!” I agreed.
We both felt insightful, mature, brilliant to the point of genius. Manna does that to you.
In no time at all, we were back to strumming and yelling.
PHOENIX
Sleeping on the Church Steps (or Why We Didn't Go To Church)
Although Sam and I had spent every Sunday morning at church somewhere on our travels, the lack of community was taking a toll on us. Even at church, we felt isolated because of how we looked, how we smelled, and who people perceived us to be. In fact, walking into a church where we hoped to find genuine fellowship only to be met by condescension or suspicion or disingenuous flattery was the worst kind of rejection. One night in Phoenix we stretched out our sleeping bags in front of a church’s main doors hoping that early the next morning we would be awakened by a kindhearted churchgoer wondering if he could help us in some way. A simple, obvious plan, we thought, but it didn’t work.
At about 7 the next morning, while a dream of wintertime in the Rockies cooled my sweating body, a far away voice pulled me back to reality. “And before we read from Romans 8, let us pray together...”
Sam and I were still on the steps of the church and already baking in the morning sun. I rolled over to look through the sanctuary windows. A small gathering was standing while the pastor led in prayer. The early service was just getting under way inside, but for us, the voice came from a speaker just above where we slept.
“Sam,” I said, nudging him awake.
“Yeah?” He sat up and shaking his head.
“Did anybody wake you up?” I said pointing into the sanctuary.
"No way,” he said. We both realized what had happened. Every person inside had gone through a side door. “Nobody woke me up. You?”
“Nope.”
The pastor was ending his prayer. “Lord, teach us to look not unto ourselves but unto you and unto others...” With a loud Amen that came metallically through the speaker above, the congregation took its seat and he began his sermon.
Already soaked with sweat, we decided to pack up and move on. “Wow,” said Sam, “I thought we were making it easy for them!”
But were we? I’m not so sure now. I think two sleeping transients on the church steps early one morning would make most people uneasy, Christian or not. The need is unexpected, out of place, and a little disturbing. Yet it is in exactly here, in the difficult circumstances, that Christ’s love should take risks to meet needs. In A Ragamuffin Gospel, Brennan Manning describes what that kind of love looks like: “To evangelize a person is to say to him or her: you too are loved by God and the Lord Jesus. And not only to say it but to really think it, and relate it to them so they can sense it. But that becomes possible only by offering the person your friendship, a friendship that is real, unselfish, without condescension, full of confidence and profound esteem.”
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
The questions on my mind right now...
Why must some people choose to be difficult?
Why must some people reject a genuine apology?
Why must some people see themselves as judge and jury?
Why must some people suffer from "log eye syndrome"?
If God has forgiven someone, why do some people think they should continue to reject the overtures of repentance?
I guess these are the on my mind...
Why must some people reject a genuine apology?
Why must some people see themselves as judge and jury?
Why must some people suffer from "log eye syndrome"?
If God has forgiven someone, why do some people think they should continue to reject the overtures of repentance?
I guess these are the on my mind...
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