Frustrated and Confused

I don't know what to do.

I went to the school today to run some copies and do some misc. work. I figured by doing the copies now it would give me some extra time later. It also would work well to use up copy numbers now, especially when the machines are free.

One of the administrators, one that I like, asked me to stop by her office. She told me my numbers are still down (what do I have to do to get numbers?????????). I'll be expected to teach English next year. I've been given an ultimatium: get English certified or drop down to part-time.

I was also basically told I'll be expected to 'play nice', go to the English Dpt meetings, track with the other English teachers, etc. I'm not an English teacher! I don't like teaching English.

I'm discouraged and angry. I don't understand this. What lesson am I supposed to be learning?

I don't like teaching English! I don't know what to do!!!!!!

Dates to remember

Last night at 11 pm my Aunt Marilyn passed away. She had fought a good fight against cancer and the cancer, ultimately, won. Aunt Marilyn was my 'Auntie Mame'...she was full of life and full of love. She wasn't afraid of death but saw it as a transition out of this world and into the arms of the Lord. I'm sure Grandpa, Grandma Mabel and Grandma Anne were waiting for her. I'm glad to know she is out of pain. It hurts to know I didn't get to see her 1 more time. She is the first of my dad's siblings to pass away, I can't begin to imagine how they feel...how her family feels. RIP...to a beautiful woman...

Today is my mom's birthday. She's 64 today. I gave her her gifts last week. I pray she has a wonderful year and that God blesses her in new and amazing ways.

the unknows

I'm sitting on the brink of so much right now. There is a choice that has to be made and I don't know what to do. In some ways the obvious seems to be the best way to go. (but what is obvious?)

It seems to be what I've been praying about. In many ways I want to jump out of the boat and walk on faith.

The problem? It isn't just me that has to be considered. If Tom isn't behind this 100%...if Tom doesn't think this is God's will then we don't take a step forward. Is his hesitation genuine or is it just fear?

What I do know is choices have to be made quickly...I pray God directs our steps quickly and with all certainty.